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(I hear several people in the background start to laugh. We’ve just been raising cattle for five generations out here, see, and… Oh, Christ.” No one here has the slightest idea what a piano tuner does, or how they do it, or what it costs.
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(There is a prolonged silence before they continue.)Ĭaller: “We’re really not as stupid as you probably think we are right now. The price I gave you includes me driving all the way out there to your ranch and back home, staying at a motel if I have to, gas, tax, and the work I’ll do everything is included. The piano does not have to be brought to me. Piano tuners always drive to where the piano is, no matter how far away, and tune the piano where it is. In my entire career, no one has ever thought they had to deliver the piano to ME to have it tuned, and then have it moved back to their house.) Me: *lightbulb goes off* “You want to move the piano to where I am?”Ĭaller: “Of course! How else are you going to tune it?” Me: “Why would you need to know that? Are you threatening me?”Ĭaller: “We DON’T need to know! And of COURSE we’re not threatening you! But YOU asked where it was getting moved to. Where is it getting moved TO?”Ĭaller: “How would we know that? Are you being a smart-a**?” Me: “I’m so sorry, but I’m not following you at all. Me: “Moves? You’re moving it more than once? Am I tuning it, then it gets moved, and I tune it again? Is this all at once, or separate jobs? Now I’m lost!”Ĭaller: “Do you actually do this very often? We’d think you’d have the procedures and costs all worked out by now.” We like your price on the tuning, but now we need to add the costs of the moves to know the total price?” Oh, you’re moving it somewhere else before I tune it? I could contact my mover, tell them your location, and get a price, and get back to you.”Ĭaller: “Wait, what? Now I’m confused. (I look up their location on Google maps, calculate the driving fee, and give them a price for a service package.)Ĭaller: “That’s a very fair price! Sold! But you don’t do the moving? Is there a mover you usually recommend?” Well, actually, you have to cross the entire mountain range to get here. How far from are you?”Ĭaller: “We’re 25 miles outside of, on a gravel road that goes through a mountain pass. Me: “Great! You mentioned being on a ranch. Out of tune, of course, but everything works.”
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Me: “Wow! That’s a really long time! I’m honored! So, do all the keys go up and down, and does each key make a sound?”Ĭaller: “Yes, we checked, and it actually doesn’t sound that bad. Our family has never spoken to a piano tuner before.” Do you know how long since it’s been tuned?”Ĭaller: “Well, we live on a ranch on long way from nowhere, and it’s been here since before 1900, so for sure at least that long. Me: “I need some more information to give you a price. The only thing I don’t do is moving.”Ĭaller: “Great! What’s the total cost for a tuning?”
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I also do all kinds of repairs, as well as complete restorations. (I’m a piano tuner in a sparsely populated area in the rural west.
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